That's what happens when people don't know how to talk to each other. and you can be the smartest person with the smartest scholarship, and yet...this is shown very well in the series.
I have a friend who can't ask directly either. I don't know, for me it makes life very difficult and you get these situations. And you look and think, well, talk already normally, as it is. I do not understand what is difficult in communication, this is the key to a normal relationship. Not inventing something that isn't there.
@aprkhrva: I'm such a friend. it is very difficult sometimes to show and talk about your experiences when the person you communicate with is the same closed :) That's how we live
What fools Marianne and Connell are. He was afraid to ask, she did not finish to offer, but the most terrible thing is how rashly they decided to break up again. And what makes them step on the same rake again and again? After all, it seems that communication (even friendly) brings them continuous suffering. :(
Well, here's Mariana's side, firstly, he constantly said that he loved her, so why would he be scared to think that he was leaving her, secondly, she really paid attention to him only in terms of sex, never asked how he lived, although she knew that there were problems with money, because she helped find a job, and he said that he was leaving for two months, and then bam and into bed with a sadistic fool..
They're just completely insecure people. What is he, what is she. She constantly considers herself unworthy of him. Which Jamie would tell her from time to time. That's why it seems to her that he will reject her again. At school, he also told her that he loved her, which did not prevent him from inviting another to the prom and not even thinking about inviting Marianne. That's why she's always waiting for a trick.
Well, it's understandable, he considers her a moral anchor and compass, she is his ideal of sexual relations and household chores... They let everything else take its course
It's a very strange assumption from Connell, "I guess you want to see other people," considering that he's going away for a couple of months, and even to a city that's a few hours away. And in general, he has such a strange position, he hoped that Marianne would let him stay with her, but how was she supposed to find out about it? Read his mind?
@Utkonosik: I don't think he really knew what he wanted. On the one hand, Connel did not want to borrow money (a healthy man cannot earn a living and will live like Alphonse), and on the other hand, he waited for her to offer herself, it seems, not his initiative. Connell said he thought Mary Ann would call him. But she didn't catch up with his thought after his masterpiece phrase. That's how it turned out. Along the way, he does not have "strategic thinking" from the word at all and he does not understand well what his words or actions will lead to (as he did not think to invite Mary Ann to the prom).
He told her that he could not pay for housing in the summer. And anyway, she is aware of his weak financial condition, because she helped him find a job... It's just that she's never been interested in this side... Even at school,
@Utkonosik: it's like she was always saying at school, "well, you probably like her, maybe you're sleeping with her, maybe you'd like to?" in the hope that he would start saying "you're my only one," so now he was waiting for "I don't want anyone but you, and in general move in with me!". But it didn't work out. Because don't do that!
@fanofbuzova: I also had such thoughts. I was mad at him while I was reading the book. But no, he's just retarded in development compared to Marianne. He is smart in terms of studies, but he is lagging behind in terms of human development. By the end of the book and the series, he had grown wiser.
I absolutely agree, apparently not everyone can understand this. Not just Connell the abuser, but Marianne is the perfect victim, which is why they return to each other.
@fanofbuzova: and she? In my opinion, he is more empathetic - at least he tries - so in the pool he showed signs of attention in public, hugged...And she? Doesn't he notice that he's crying?!🤦
Why see each other at all if both are suffering because of it. Why even behave like an asshole and not give any certainty, then leave and still cause pain.
People in general often behave like this. From the outside, it always seems that you can just pick up and talk, but in fact not. This is probably why the series is called "Normal People", because it does not show abstract people from the cinema, but as if they were real, our acquaintances or ourselves
A perfect example of how reflection ruins your life and those around you. And even realizing this, I sometimes get angry at the characters, then I empathize, and periodically I want to give them a magic pendel))) It was shot very cool, the picture is wonderful!
It is very easy to observe the picture from the outside (even from two, being a viewer of the series) and argue who is right and to blame. I used to do this too, but the more you analyze your past, the more you realize that in life outside the series, people commit very irrational actions. Because you're emotionally attached, plus, you can't see everything your partner is guided by, what's bothering him. People are not robots, even though you know it's more rational to talk, but at some moments you feel too vulnerable or you don't understand yourself.
In this sense, I feel very sorry for both heroes, each in their own way. Unfortunately, everything in life is not as correct and simple as in rational psychology books
I don't really like the main character's attitude towards the guy. First of all, I still can't understand why she didn't even think about asking him to live with her. He clearly said that he had nowhere to live. Secondly, because of her pride, she did not ask him what his words meant. You could at least try to clarify the situation.
And a very revealing moment when Conell was beaten, she still paid attention first to her feelings, did not try to treat the wound, and so on. She started crying because he has a girlfriend, even though she told him about having sex with her boyfriend (WHAT?). And his girlfriend took care of him.
@Destiny_Ocean: Well, she said she thought it was just an excuse to leave her. Both are to blame, both cannot speak at all as they are. "Everything is real with you, everything is not the same with you as with others." With others, you get into trouble completely, since you can't talk to each other normally. I remembered the story "The Crown of Professor Kozarin". We think we know the person next to us well, but things may be completely different than we assume. And to find out, you just need to sit down and talk.
@Destiny_Ocean: I agree that Maryann could also have helped to avoid what actually happened. But I don't agree at all that she didn't do it out of pride. It's all about self-doubt and old injuries, she thought to herself that he didn't want this (and given his words, it was easy to do) and felt unnecessary and unworthy. He thought the same thing about her-that her attitude towards him was not to allow or offer him to move in together, and that she would find someone else. The output is such a stupid situation.
All problems are solved with words through the mouth! It's obvious that it's hard for them to talk. It is strange that at the same time they are the best in areas where you need to be able to speak and express your point of view, where you need to understand emotions and behavior. And he also reads a lot of fiction, because there are so many similar subjects, it seems he could draw a parallel)...It's a pity they don't give us his childhood story yet, why he can't talk, especially with such an adequate mother!
The girl is like a dog in the manger. He didn't ask about housing, she didn't offer to live. She started dating a new guy, talked about their intimate life, but burst into tears as soon as he started a new relationship. It's brilliant.
Connel was so sweet when he came to Marianne's after the robbery 😍 In the comments above, everyone is so reasonable :) It's like no one's ever had feelings in their head. Marianne is constantly looking for confirmation of her value, in her head it was Connell who abandoned her, and she is with Jamie not out of great feelings (she admits this herself), but simply so that there would be at least someone. That's why she cries when she hears about his new relationship. Especially after all the hints that Connell managed to blurt out in 5 minutes of drunken conversation in the hallway.
It seems to me that at the end of the series Connell should write a very popular article/book about relationships and through this finally gain self-confidence and financial independence.
With each episode, I am more and more convinced that the series seems to have been copied from my life. Well, or vice versa, the devil knows It's too sad to watch and worry about. I'm an adult aunt, but I understand these characters. It is very important to be able to hear each other and ... admit your feelings to both the chosen one and yourself I can't figure out how many tears I've cried, and how many more I'll shed This series breaks my heart
@Kerry_Orly: the ability to speak with words through the mouth is laid down in the family, as usual. And what they have in their families is exactly the opposite. N e u m e u t
Instead of having a normal conversation and talking directly about their feelings, they suffer themselves and torment everyone around them and each other ((( well, why so??? I am glad that he became a scholarship holder.
How sad the guys are (misunderstood each other, thought of it, and so much pain. Many people call their relationship toxic, but above all they have a toxic relationship with themselves. Both cannot accept that they deserve unconditional love. And, of course, I want to shout to them: Well, admit your feelings! Talk frankly! But they are traumatized people, it is very difficult for them to remove the blocks. It's like a depressed person shouting: Smile and enjoy life! In general, both are very interesting examples for psychological analysis. Marianne, unfortunately, still came up with a script that would confirm to her the installation "they can't love me, I only deserve humiliation" through Jamie.
It's funny how everyone knows how to live in the comments :) These are ordinary people, they make mistakes, they don't always know how to talk, just like us. We just sometimes see ourselves in these characters, that's what he clings to, he's about you and me
I feel sorry for them, but it seems that both enjoy suffering and hurting each other.
Marianne talks about her sex life with Jamie – to punish Connell for leaving in the summer. Connell comes to her house with a broken face to show her how he suffers – and tells her about his girlfriend in addition, so that now, in turn, he can punish Marianne for punishing him. So you can walk in circles indefinitely.
The series certainly looks interesting, but if you remove the fleeting positive moments, then the characters are connected only by dependence on suffering. Abuse comes from both sides. They like to remember happy moments from the past, but live with suffering in the present. They may not realize it themselves, but in fact it is.
In real life, people have nervous breakdowns after such relationships and often form misconceptions about the opposite sex, what a healthy relationship looks like, and how love is expressed.
And normality here probably means the typical nature of what is happening. Surely many people can recognize themselves or their former partners in the characters. But this does not make the situation in which the characters have driven themselves healthy and comfortable from the point of view of psychology. She only seems beautiful and romantic on the screen. It's not worth repeating at home.
After reading the book "Normal People", I wanted to watch the series, which was released just the other day. I didn't have enough specific details in the book, the main characters seemed insufficiently disclosed, so I hoped that the series would have a little more information to understand Marianne and Connell. But the series repeats the book completely, but does not complement it at all.
I love the way the series was filmed...
And in general, he has such a strange position, he hoped that Marianne would let him stay with her, but how was she supposed to find out about it? Read his mind?
In this sense, I feel very sorry for both heroes, each in their own way. Unfortunately, everything in life is not as correct and simple as in rational psychology books
I don't really like the main character's attitude towards the guy. First of all, I still can't understand why she didn't even think about asking him to live with her. He clearly said that he had nowhere to live. Secondly, because of her pride, she did not ask him what his words meant. You could at least try to clarify the situation.
And a very revealing moment when Conell was beaten, she still paid attention first to her feelings, did not try to treat the wound, and so on. She started crying because he has a girlfriend, even though she told him about having sex with her boyfriend (WHAT?). And his girlfriend took care of him.
He didn't ask about housing, she didn't offer to live. She started dating a new guy, talked about their intimate life, but burst into tears as soon as he started a new relationship. It's brilliant.
In the comments above, everyone is so reasonable :) It's like no one's ever had feelings in their head. Marianne is constantly looking for confirmation of her value, in her head it was Connell who abandoned her, and she is with Jamie not out of great feelings (she admits this herself), but simply so that there would be at least someone. That's why she cries when she hears about his new relationship. Especially after all the hints that Connell managed to blurt out in 5 minutes of drunken conversation in the hallway.
* Aa, I can't, it's too much...*
It's too sad to watch and worry about.
I'm an adult aunt, but I understand these characters. It is very important to be able to hear each other and ... admit your feelings to both the chosen one and yourself
I can't figure out how many tears I've cried, and how many more I'll shed
This series breaks my heart
That's why it's important to speak clearly about what you're thinking
wtf?!
In general, both are very interesting examples for psychological analysis. Marianne, unfortunately, still came up with a script that would confirm to her the installation "they can't love me, I only deserve humiliation" through Jamie.
These are ordinary people, they make mistakes, they don't always know how to talk, just like us.
We just sometimes see ourselves in these characters, that's what he clings to, he's about you and me
Marianne talks about her sex life with Jamie – to punish Connell for leaving in the summer. Connell comes to her house with a broken face to show her how he suffers – and tells her about his girlfriend in addition, so that now, in turn, he can punish Marianne for punishing him. So you can walk in circles indefinitely.
The series certainly looks interesting, but if you remove the fleeting positive moments, then the characters are connected only by dependence on suffering. Abuse comes from both sides. They like to remember happy moments from the past, but live with suffering in the present. They may not realize it themselves, but in fact it is.
In real life, people have nervous breakdowns after such relationships and often form misconceptions about the opposite sex, what a healthy relationship looks like, and how love is expressed.
And normality here probably means the typical nature of what is happening. Surely many people can recognize themselves or their former partners in the characters. But this does not make the situation in which the characters have driven themselves healthy and comfortable from the point of view of psychology. She only seems beautiful and romantic on the screen. It's not worth repeating at home.